701 A duck walks in to a postoffice and asks the postman: "Do you have any corn?" The postman answers politely: "No, we don't have any corn here." The next day the duck enters the store again and asks: "Do you have any corn?" A bit annoyed the postman answers: "No! We don't have any corn." This goes on for a couple of days. Finally one day when the duck asks:" Do you have any corn?", the postman gets so upset he yells: "NO! For the last time, we don't have any corn, and if you ask again, I'll nail your beak to the counter!!" The next day the duck returns to the store and asks: "Do you have any nails?" The postman answers:" No." Then the duck asks:" Do you have any corn?"
702 A teacher was taking her class for a walk in the woods.
"Now Mary,"she said. "What do you call the outside of a tree?! "I don`t miss,"said Mary. "Bark, you silly girl,"said the teacher."Bark!" "Oh all right then,"said Mary. "Woof‐Woof!"
703 Mum:Come on,John,eat your breakfast;you`ll be late for school. John:I don`t want to go to school.The teachers don`t like me,the children don`t like me‐even the caretaker doesn`t like me! Mum;All the same, you must go. John:Why should I go? Mum:Well,for one thing you`re forty five years old,and for another your the headmaster.
704 There are two teddy bears in the airing cuboard. which one is in the army? Answer:The one on the tank.
705 How do you confuse an idiot? Purple!!
706 Q. Why is Toblerone triangular? A. So it will fit in the box.
707 Q: What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: The same middle name!
708 Did you hear about the Hamster found dead in his cage?.... Apparently he fell asleep at the wheel!
709 One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark. He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the broom and he told her where it was. She then asked him to please go get it. The little boy informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn't want to go out to get the broom. His mother smiled and said 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid'. The little boy opened the back door a little and said 'Lord if you're out there, hand me the broom'.
710 Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.